


"malina trying to play a vidya but keeps getting bothered by the other girls"

by Zbob24



Category: Helltaker (Video Game)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:20:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24506812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zbob24/pseuds/Zbob24
Comments: 2
Kudos: 36





	"malina trying to play a vidya but keeps getting bothered by the other girls"

This harem sucks.  
It's been about what, a week? Two weeks? I've lost track of time since being brought into this living hellscape. There's so much wrong with Mr. Helltaker's house it's hard to get into. Small rooms. Dirty carpets. The constant smell of pancake batter looming in the air. Did I mention he still hasn't told anyone his real name? Probably has a personality disorder, like that Panda-Monica bitch. In fact, every girl here is a bitch but me. Especially my sister, the worst bitch of them all.  
I've survived on three things and three things alone. An endless supply of vodka, way more pancakes than anybody should ever need, and my puzzle games. Take any one of these factor's away from me and I'll internally combust.  
So that brings me to today, when I was trying out this platformer called Battleblock Theatre. Though it's less retro and turn-based than I'd prefer, it's as addicting. I was invested in a level, trying to get to a golden hat in an obscure spot when that nagging bitch Azazel decided now was the time to ask me a bunch of brainless questions to justify me punching her. The other sluts in this whorehouse put up with her dumb questions and find it endearing, but I can't stand her. Like do you ever just shut up? Get a life, you nerd.  
After getting only a C on that level and gut-punching that vapid bitch back to the pearly gates, I tried again to improve my score. I'd never settle for anything less than an A.  
That's when my sister, Zdrada, came barging in asking for a lighter. It's a shame demon girls are immortal because this world would be better off without my sister in it. Even after telling her off, she kept nagging and bitching like the bitch she is.  
After doing worse and gut-punching yet another worthless bitch for the second time today, I tried yet again to get a perfect grade.  
Yet they all came in, wondering what I was doing in the most annoying ways possible. Pandamonica asking me to turn the volume down so she could sleep, Cerberus dogging around me like she is with the Helltaker, Justice coming in just to call me "awesome", and on and on.  
After hours of this tomfuckery I decided I had enough. I stormed out of my room to tell everyone to fuck off, but was stopped by the Helltaker himself wondering why I was gut-punching all his bitches. I told him about my plight, to which he offered an ultimatum. If I beat him at an arm-wrestling match, I could have the 2nd floor to myself. Seeing him as nothing more than a weak degenerate, probably with all my vodka skewing things, I accepted the match.  
It's hard to play Battleblock with only 1 good arm. At least I found the pain hot.


End file.
